Marcus Franklin used a Milford firm to help him create a Web memorial for his late wife.
(Michael
Snyder photo)
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When Anita Jewel Franklin died last year, some of her friends paid their final respects to her on the World Wide Web.
They logged onto their computers and called up a Web site where they found a memorial to her, complete with biography and photographs of Mrs. Franklin with her husband, her dogs and in her beloved garden.
CONTACT THEM
Use the email form at http://www.mem.com/
or call Spring Grove Cemetery at (888) 853-2230 or
Making Everlasting Memories at (888) 549-4636.
“We have friends in Europe, and they think it's the greatest thing in the world,” says Mrs. Franklin's husband, Marcus, of Madisonville. “They were unable to make it to the actual funeral. This was almost like the next best thing.”
MeM — Making Everlasting Memories, a Milford firm, developed the Web site on which Mrs. Franklin, and others, are enshrined at http://www.everlastingmemories.com/ On it relatives can post photographs, biographical information and tributes.
It's part of a growing trend to post personal information, such as births and weddings, on the Web.Sites offer families a virtual bulletin board for news. Many families also are creating genealogical Web pages.
Putting personal information on the Internet is one way to stay connected, says Michael Porte, professor of communication at the University of Cincinnati. “Many families are so far apart, and they're using the Internet to supplement telephone and mail.
“There's also a greater interest in family trees and finding out who various members of the family are and where they're located.”
The MeM site has potential to be a gold mine for genealogists looking for more than vital statistics. Memorial sites also offer a new avenue of healing.
“It's a wonderful release for people to be able to tell their story,” says Ken Czillinger, bereavement manager for VITAS Hospice in Forest Park. “I think it has great healing value for the people who do it.
“What you want to try to do is celebrate the life of someone. So, in an ongoing kind of way, if you can remember that person, I think that's very helpful in the grieving process.”
Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum signed on as MeM's first client. Cemetery representatives help family members set up their Everlasting Memorial. The information can be accessed through the MeM Web site or in kiosks at Spring Grove and its affiliate, Oak Hill Cemetery.
“A cemetery is based on memories. It's an extension of that,” Andrew Conroy, president of Spring Grove Cemetery, says of the MeM Web site. “Cemeteries provide a focal point for people to remember people. We've got the marker. We've got the space. This is one other avenue where people can express themselves and really honor their loved ones.”
Emotional task
Creating a memorial for a loved one can be a heart-wrenching experience. The process stirs up memories and can reopen survivors' wounds.
Putting a memorial together for his wife last summer was an emotional task for Michael Jelus, who was married to Carol Ann for 32 years.
“This (memorial) was difficult to write,” the Anderson Township man says. “I had a lot of trouble putting that together. It brings up a lot of feelings. That may be the trouble with trying to market it. It does rehash things. Once you've done it, you appreciate it.”
The 56-year-old physical science technician had help from his children, Carey, 29, of Anderson Township and Michele Schnell, 27, of Mount Washington.
The photos on Mrs. Jelus' memory page reveal much about her life. One shows her last dance with son, Carey, at a friend's wedding about three years ago. “She was a tremendous dancer,” her husband says. “She loved music.”
Memorials also feature photos of people and places important to the deceased.
Mrs. Jelus' memorial includes a photo of her 8-year-old granddaughter, Keri Beth Jelus. Mrs. Jelus, a homemaker, died in 1997 from Alzheimer's disease and cancer at age 54. Keri helped her grandfather care for her.
“She helped with medication, feedings, administering oxygen,” Mr. Jelus says. “She was like a little nurse. She was very, very close to my wife as a result of that.”
Two hours after her grandmother died, Keri drew artwork and wrote a message. It reads: “I miss grandma. I love you. You will allways be in my heart. You are very special to me. Love, Keri.” There was no question it would be posted on the memorial.
“It left such an impression,” her grandfather says. “Here is a child so young that could get up and write that down.”
The Jelus family was among the first to utilize the MeM Web site. It will be especially important for future grandchildren, Mr. Jelus says. “It's a lasting memory. They can come back and realize what it was like, and we can have a feel for how everybody felt at the time. It will be more important 20 years from now when we all go back and look at this.”
The memorial has helped with the healing process.
“It was such an integral part of my life,” Mr. Jelus says of the five years he spent caring for his wife at home. “I don't think you ever get over it. There's an awful lot of comfort in that, just to go back and look at pictures. It's something that's going to last.”
Memorable idea
MeM — Making Everlasting Memories is the creation of G. Scott Mindrum, the 40-year-old president and founder who quit his job in mergers and acquisitions to pursue this venture.
“We are in the business of helping families maintain biographical information, photographs and document data permanently in an electronic format,” Mr. Mindrum says. “It's kind of like a virtual safe deposit box for memories.”
He came up with the idea several years ago when he realized he didn't know much about his grandparents, who all died before he was born. “Because of technology today, there's no excuse for missing this kind of information about people. We spend a lot of money burying people but they take with them the most important thing — memories.”
Mr. Mindrum's family has had genealogical studies done, but it's all statistical information — names and dates. “There's really no depth or color,” he says. “In my opinion, you lose out. Besides seeing when my great great Aunt Jane was born and died, it would be much better if you had pictures, what her chocolate chip recipe was, where she went to school, what she read, the things that were important to her.
“We're adding color to genealogy.”
MeM maintains the Web site and kiosks at 10 cemeteries from Florida to California. Families can call up the site at the kiosks. The first kiosk was installed in September at Spring Grove Cemetery. (Spring Grove plans to launch its own Web site within the next year for customers who arrange memorials through it).
The MeM Web site contains all memorials sold by the company. Customers do not have to have relatives buried at Spring Grove to place information on the site. The basic package costs $425 and includes a biography, tribute and four photographs. For more money, additional photos, text or other items (letters, birth and death certificates) can be added. A portion of each sale goes to an endowment fund to maintain the site permanently.
“Our hope is that it will be a celebration of life, not a termination notice,” Mr. Mindrum says. “We hope people will take a biographical approach to this, not a memorial approach. We'd love for it to be uplifting reading and not depressing.”
Medicine for the heart
Mr. Franklin, 41, is president/CEO of TelSoft Inc., a computer software testing and Web site development firm. It seemed natural to memorialize his wife in a high-tech way.
“I could see that's going to be the wave of the future,” he says. “All of us have loved ones where you wish you could call up a photo or just visit them again. With the Web site, it doesn't matter if you're down the street, around the corner or in another part of world. Everybody has access to it.”
He worked on the memorial with his daughter, Ebony Franklin, 21, of Mason (Anita's stepdaughter) and Mrs. Franklin's best friend, Danielle Asbell of Milwaukee. “It was a collaborative effort where we composed all the text ourselves. We went through and selected the photos that best depicted my wife, and the things that she enjoyed and loved.”
Among those featured is a photo of Mrs. Franklin with her dogs, Data, a Siberian husky, and Bart, a toy German shepherd/collie. Another shows her in her garden, where she had a pond and planted a variety of flowers, including her favorite, American red roses. The memorial reveals that her nickname was Charlie, a name her mother gave her as a child, Mr. Franklin says.
Mrs. Franklin, a 33-year-old Ameritech sales representative, died of cancer in May 1998. She loved gardening and cooking, and searched the Web for gardening ideas and new recipes to try out on her husband of eight years. She wanted to put photographs of her flowers on the Web.
“It's real comforting,” Mr. Franklin says. “She was kind of into the World Wide Web and the Internet, so it really does my heart good.
“She always wanted her own Web page. We were in the process of composing that before she got really sick. She ended up getting what she wanted.”